About Who We Are All you need to know about blended families

Welcome!

Be StepWise was founded in 2009 in response to a growing demand from step-parents for information and support for their family life. Our aim is to offer all step-parents everywhere helpful family inspiration. Our services have been carefully and specially designed for the unique nature of a step family. Be StepWise is now a recognised resource for other organisations in the field and has an international following.

Our Philosophy:

We know step-family life can be rewarding, fun and special. We know that step-families have a special set of different circumstances that makes each one exceptional. Every family grows, changes and develops. Life in any family is a journey. At Be StepWise we believe that with the right knowledge and awareness you can bring wisdom to your step-family life. We are here to help you with that journey and to make the most of that family life.

Our commitment to you:

We are a team of qualified, experienced professionals who have great empathy with step-parenting and step-family life. We will meet your specific requirements carefully and sensitively.

About Us

Have a question and don’t know the answer?

We aim to respond within 48 hours

Why not email us, giving some background information, describe the situation as you see it, and then ask us a question.

We will respond. The initial 3 question and answer exchanges are free of charge.

Email is a great way to communicate and sending it to us this way may suit you best of all! You can think about what you want to say and how you want to say it in advance. You can think about the answer you receive in your own time.

Responses normally within 48 hours, although in some cases can take longer.

Meet us individually face-to face, or Skype

Want clarity and feel muddled? Want to be fair but not sure what that is in your situation? Want unity but can’t agree with your partner about your combined family? Want your relationship to work but currently feel frightened that you could break up?

These are all normal feelings. No-one tells you in advance. People say “you knew what you were getting into” – but you really didn’t. Emotions can be unfamiliar, like guilt, jealousy and incontrollable rage.

Or maybe you are embarking on a relationship with someone who has children and you want to plan and start off right….

We can meet you alone or with you and your partner. You will gain clarity, new perspectives, better understanding, and confidence in the direction to go. Sessions are for an hour and a quarter each. One coaching session may be all you need, or you may want more. The choice is yours.

 

Meet us individually face-to face, or Skype
Family groups and family sessions face-to-face

Family groups and family sessions face-to-face

The initial 3 question and answer exchanges are free of charge

Wanting family unity but family discord a problem? Wanting to change behaviour but have children who can’t or don’t want to accept change and are causing problems. Wanting everyone to feel okay but are worried about the effect of a previous divorce or the current situation? Getting on well as a bigger extended family is important but you hadn’t reckoned on the ex- partner or in-laws or other relatives being obstructive?

We see families together as large groups or see them in sub-sets of families. We look at families not as having problems but having systems and patterns that don’t work. People can get stuck in mind-sets resistant to change and rigid patterns of thinking. Change happens when there is a shift in how you or others see something. The solution comes from different thinking. This is a skilled job for the professional. However the change is instantaneous and well worth it. Several sessions with different people are sometimes necessary.

Parenting Work

Why not email us, giving some background information

Are you a teacher or head-teacher and you want families to work but see family divorce and acrimony spoil children’s chances? Do you want to support families but see parents struggling? Do you want your school to be able to offer pragmatic help to families so everyone including you, the children and the community can benefit?

Be StepWise provides a proven workshop programme and individual coaching sessions for parents.

Be StepWise parenting programme. Many families have separated, or single parents these days. The programme is designed with the modern family unit in mind.

Programmes run with 10 delegates each, 4 sessions per programme, 2 hours duration. The sessions cover communication, discipline, nurturing, and learning. The sessions are interactive and participants have their own issues addressed. Feedback from programmes is always overwhelmingly positive.

Be StepWise has secured funding for schools programmes. Schools are able to meet criteria for accreditation in various ways from running the programme.

Parenting Work
Individual services to fit your business needs

Individual services to fit your business needs

You can think about the answer you receive in your own time

Are you a business leader with a remit to enable your organisation to support its employees to thrive? Do you want personnel to have access to specialised help to when they need it including in family matters? Do you want staff to be doing well but see the stress of divorce and re-marriage take its toll?

We are resource for your business. We inform: - we do lunch-time and evening talks and seminars. We speak at parenting networks and events. We provide individual support to people from within your organisation to help them with the problems of the aftermath of divorce, including parent alienation, contact, co-parenting contracts, children’s problems – anxiety depression etc, and the re-integration of families when parents meet new partners, move in together and sometimes start new families. Transitting from one family to another is fraught and we provide highly successful advice and support to busy people.

 

Consultants / speakers / interviews / expert advice

Call 0207 193 9611

Are you a programme director or designer and putting on a programme where you want expert professional advice on new family forms and what this means actually – and also what the solutions are? – ask us. Are you wanting an answer to thorny questions and want a good answer from someone who knows? – ask us. Are step-families and the problems of blending families in the news and you want advice – ask us. Do you want someone who can speak well on radio or TV, or give an articulate written answer? – ask us.

Be StepWise are competent speakers and professionals who are experienced in media.

We also believe it is important to spread the word about the ways normal families live nowadays. The challenges of the modern family are tough, and we are keen to talk about them.

 

 

Consultants / speakers / interviews / expert advice
Treatments And services

At Be StepWise our purpose is to guide you through the well-known and established obstacles of step-family life, based on theexperience of many other step-families and our professional knowledge. It’s not complicated or impossible, but you do need to know how.

What Will You Gain Working With Us?

What We Do

We are a group of professional each trained to be either, family practitioners, therapists, psychologists, counsellors, coaches and parenting practitioners who are trained and experienced in helping step-families to sort their problems and move on. Step-families left stuck in routines and behaviours that destroy the family and make it unpleasant to be in are not going to endure. We are here to provide you with the knowledge and understanding, and wisdom that will enable you to become the best family you can be. We run workshops, offer one-to-one assistance in person and on the phone, over Skye, via an email response service and through our booklets. We work with schools, run courses and workshops and through pastoral-care departments and personnel work with school children and their families. We link with businesses to provide bespoke support for their personnel giving these organisations the edge in enabling staff to overcome the challenges of becoming a blended family simply, quickly and effectively.

Who We Are

Meet Our Experts

Michael Wilkins

Michael Wilkins

(Family Psychotherapist and mediator)
Michaels is a skilled and trained mediator experienced in working with people in conflict. He has for many years been a Family Psychotherapist reaching the top of his profession whilst working with families and parenting issues. He was involved in parenting workshops with Exploring Parenthood in the 1980’s. He is also a coach and organisation consultant helping people to improve the relationships in home and in work. Michael has two children.
Kim Revell

Kim Revell

(Counselling Psychologist)
Kim is a highly qualified and knowledgeable in the field of post-divorce families and blended families. She is a Chartered Counselling Psychologist registered with the Health Professions Council. She is a coach specialising in relationship difficulties. A step parent for 25 years and mother of 2 children, she understands first-hand the complexities, difficulties and joys of blending two families.
Alison O'Mahony

Alison O'Mahony

Founder- Be Stepwise
Alison is an experienced and expert specialist step-parenting practitioner. She holds a Post -Graduate Certificate in systemic practice with families and couples, is a trained parenting group facilitator, is a qualified coach and mentor. In a previous career she was a management consultant. She was a step-child, has four brothers and a half-sister and became a step-mother to two children when she married and has two children of her own.
Sue Stafford

Sue Stafford

(Professional Coach)
For 20 years Sue has been helping individuals to make the changes they want in their work and their life. She supports her clients by empowering them to reflect on their situation, explore their options and discover their own personal solution. Since her separation she has experienced first-hand the ups and downs of life with a new partner and his family as well as the impact on her children.
Agnes Bamford

Agnes Bamford

(Coach and facilitator)
Agnes has delivered courses to parents in schools since 2007. She works as an inter-cultural coach – with relocating executives and their families. Agnes has co-authored ‘swings and round-a-bouts’ – a self-coach book for parents and those wishing to become parents (Karnac Books).
Sarah Mellor

Sarah Mellor

(Executive Coach)
Sarah is an experienced bereavement counsellor for Trinity Hospice. She holds a Post-Graduate Qualification in this field. Following a successful career in commerce, working in both private and public sector, Sarah is now a coach working with individuals and teams to resolve difficult business and personal issues. She has two children and lives in a blended family.
Meet Our Experts
Gellary

Blending a family: Getting it right so it doesn't go wrong.

Anyone who belongs to a step-family knows they are different. From the outside people think you look like a regular family, but inside there is a lot to juggle. You and your partner have come together, when there are step-sons and step-daughters already around. Step-children will have had different upbringing from the one you will want in your home. More change for step-children is inevitable as they adjust to the different environment. New traditions and cultures need to be established. Problems with discipline or differences in expectation can lead to step-parent / step-child tensions, this in turn can create disagreement between you and your new love. The person you want to build a long lasting relationship with. Add to this the emotional stress of having been through a divorce or separation, and not wanting your children to suffer anymore mean parents can favour children over you. This can leave you feeling left out, and second best. At Be StepWise we recognise that these step-family dilemma’s ruin relationships. Step-children can destroy the relationships that ultimately provide the security they need.

Find Your True Selfe
Reviews

Be Stepwise Booklets A series of booklets are being written, the first two available now

Alison O’Mahony- Author of First Steps

Embarking on a new relationship with the children of your new partner can be daunting. As you become more involved with your partner and his or her children, the children (even adult ones!) can pull away. Alison explains how to read the tell-tale signs that show us that our step-children realise we have arrived, and gives us guidance on what to do about it. This book addresses this little-talked-about topic deftly and succinctly, giving us a wealth of valuable information and practical advice.

Alison O’Mahony- Author of ‘Let’s Talk’

Is an imaginative book that inspires us to manage our step-families proactively. It encourages us to develop systems around family life so we can get on with living and enjoying home. “Let the system carry the load” is a mantra that allows those difficult things about living with others to be spoken about instead of being left unsaid. The book is bursting with useful strategies. An essential read for any step-family.

Buy these booklets
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Contact Us

We are based in and around Central London and Home Counties.

If you have questions or need additional information, please call: 0207 193 9611 or use our Contact Form. From outside the UK dial  +44 207 193 9611

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