What you should do to avoid accusations of abuse

The Bunny Boiler is the name taken from the Glen Close Character in ‘Fatal Attraction’ when the husband’s ex-extra-marital affair partner kills her ex-partner’s child’s bunny by boiling him in a pot and leaving the daughter and wife to find it. But what are the more normal but worse scenario ..Continue Reading

Understanding differences in family cultures

Moving into a step family has been compared to emigrating from one culture to another. Each family had its own cultural norms and family rituals, much in the same way that different countries / regions / religions have their own cultural norms. When thinking about immigration moving from their country of ..Continue Reading

Dear Alison, I feel a shadow of my former self, I want to disappear in my own house.

My stepchildren, ages 16 and 17, are incredibly rude to me, even though I had nothing to do with their parents’ divorce. I met their father two years later and nine months after that, we moved in together. They barely say hi or look at me. I handle it by ..Continue Reading

Planning to surprise your step-child with your marriage?

When you come on board with the family as a step-parent you wonder what the child might have gone through before, whether it be death or divorce. Here is some evidence that may feed your understanding.   A poll was conducted by Elizabeth Marquardt and Norvel D Glenn at the Institute ..Continue Reading

A parents view of their child’s (your partner’s) break-up and re-marriage.

I’ve just been reading a book called ‘Your Child’s Divorce’ by Marsha Temlock. (2006). It takes the parents of the divorcing child’s perspectives and starts with the agonising phone-call you get with the dreaded words, Mum, or Dad, – “I’m getting divorced” right through to the “I’m getting re-married”, conversation. ..Continue Reading

Spare a thought for the child shuffling between homes.

I met Cariss this week. Cariss is quiet, subdued and doesn’t speak much. She is 14 years old and lives with her Mum and her Step-Dad with her half-brother Darren, aged 7. She goes to school and has some friends. Her mum is worried.  Her Step-Dad asks her to call ..Continue Reading

Before you arrive in a teens life

Imagine life as a teen, and you know your parents are distanced. Your Dad is away a lot or your Mum works late. This is the way life is, then gradually a new awareness dawns. Your Dad or Mum could be seeing someone else. The first sign may come as ..Continue Reading

Post-university step-children come home to live with you!

Research suggests more young adults are returning to their parents after university – but what if their parents are re-partnered? Are you prepared for flat share? Research says that more than ever young people return ‘home’ after university before finding jobs and launching themselves on life. Research is also saying ..Continue Reading

Food – a terrible problem in Step-Families

Do you remember what it was like to go somewhere else for tea when you were a young child? A best friend would invite you out, and you would be pleased and excited, then as the day drew near the thing that you would be likely to be most worried ..Continue Reading

Does your step-child have ADHD?

There is a high percentage of ADHD diagnosis in children who have been involved in divorce. If you are a step-parent it is much more likely that your step-child will have some form of ADHD diagnosis. Children are not menyally or emotionall mature to handle their parents divorce.  So it ..Continue Reading