The four Step-parenting Mantras from Be StepWise.

Think with the end in mind. Think beyond this moment, beyond today or this week to the future. Our aim is for the young people in our care to grow up to be responsible adults. It is very easy to get bogged down in disagreements and despair at the way ..Continue Reading

I just want my family to be me, my husband and our baby.

“I don’t want my step-son in my life. We were bonded before, but now I can’t stand him. I resent him. I do not want him around my baby. I never knew I would have these feelings. I feel terrible for having them. My husband wants to see his child ..Continue Reading

My 9-year-old step-son is aggressive and rude towards me..

Salvador Minuchin, a family therapist said “A child cannot be as powerful as an adult unless he’s standing on someone’s shoulders”    So, if you are experiencing this behaviour, whose shoulders is your step-child standing on? Who is giving this child the permission to feel entitled? to be rude and aggressive? Or cold, ..Continue Reading

How my stepfather taught me to be a good parent

We all know that being a stepparent is certain to be a difficult task. After all, raising children isn’t easy at the best of times – and it’s certain to be even tougher for a stepfather or stepmother. I speak from experience, though not as a stepparent myself; rather I ..Continue Reading

Troubled Families

  Introduction New pair of glasses today, – new lens. Unrecognised by legal profession, education, health or mental health services, or the people themselves, (and I will come to that in a moment), or even in politics do not acknowledge it’s prevalence. Why? Because advise is always for nuclear families ..Continue Reading

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Nurture Yourself

Setting the scene Parenting can often feel all about giving. You give your time, you give your advice, you give money and much more. Just when you thought you might be able to do something for yourself you find a child somewhere somehow needs you. I was at the school ..Continue Reading

Pivotal Parent

The Pivotal Parent, or the Mum or Dad who is your partner. It can seem like a terrible choice…….. You find love in a partner and sometime he or she says they have children. You might have children too. I’ve heard it said that you can be delighted. You’re pleased ..Continue Reading

My Step Daughter’s Wedding

From the perspective of a step daughter. My wedding was on the horizon; my parents had been divorced for 10 years following a very stormy marriage. My mother, still angry about the divorce, was refusing to have ‘that woman’ at the wedding. That woman was my father second wife, she ..Continue Reading

How to move in and start off right

“I’m moving in with my boyfriend and his two children he has them for half the week. We’ve been together a while I’ve met them plenty of times………” You will have your own one line sentence similar to the one above, but it will be different, different because it will ..Continue Reading