Thank you again Alison, for so much food for thought and for being out there. I can imagine your group had made a huge difference to the lives of many step-mothers who like me have felt very relieved and re-assured to know that you exist and they – we – are not alone Remembering how much worse things were this time last year and how much you helped. Thank you. Jayne
Who is a mentor?
I consider my mentor to be one of my very best friends. They know me as well or better than my best friend. I feel totally able to tell them anything and they won’t be shocked or offended. They really are there to help me, they’re on my side. They really understand my situation too. They are my secret, as I have them all to myself. Without them I would be much, much worse off. As it is I feel I have the strength and energy to cope. I can really see how not just me, but my partner and family are benefitting. I seriously would not be without one. I won’t need a mentor for ever, but I wouldn’t be without one now.
How is a mentor qualified?
A mentor is a highly skilled practitioner. They are trained to listen with empathy so they really can feel what it would be like to ‘walk that mile in someone else’s shoes’. They are taught how to pick up the cues of tone of voice, and body language, to look and listen for the signs that show what emotions someone is really feeling. They are skilled at questioning, the art of drawing out what really matters. Credit for a mentoring practitioner comes when someone says, “that’s a good question – let me think about that.” In addition to understanding and asking they also have a job to do. This job is about enabling their mentee to progress and make positive changes to their lives. They do this by working out how their mentee works, and where to make the interventions which will bring about the changes in them that will enable changes in their situation – and they monitor feedback too, so progress happens. Mentors want results.
What are the benefits of mentoring?
Being mentored is game changing. You will never be the same again in a very positive way. Yet you will have made all the changes yourself as your mentor will have helped you decide what is best for yourself having weighed up all the options and made the decisions.
I cannot tell you what the benefits will be to you as I do not yet know you. You will, like us all have problems in life, and you will be the best judge of what will be a great result.
We fully expect you to get this great result or better. We consider thoughts such as, ‘I feel entirely differently about my family now’, or ‘I never dreamed it could be this improved’ to be within your grasp.
Mentoring is particularly useful for sticky problems such as:
– The ex-wife or husband is still on the scene in whatever capacity and causing problems.
– The children are finding it hard to adjust to new arrangements
– Changes seem to be having a pronounced negative effect and you don’t seem to be able to reverse the trend.
– Tension is high and people are angry.
– Emotionally you are becoming at your wits end, and feel rejected, isolated or lonely, and have no-one you can talk to about it.
Works fast. Each session will bring outcomes.
Significant progress is expected within 6 months.
The service can be over the phone, / Skype or in person.