This was a situation a Step Mum had:
My new husband and I have been married for 6 months and Christmas is looming. He has 4 children from his previous marriage and I have 2. We are going to be spending Christmas together and each set of children have their own traditions and set of decorations for the tree. Tension is already building as both sets of children want the tree the way they have had it in the past and want to put their own decoration on the tree. I would like to start a new set of decorations with my new husband as for me is signals the start of my new life. How can I keep everybody happy?
And this is one way we suggested she could solve this dilemma:
Family traditions and ways in which we celebrate holidays are really important to families. They form part of our family culture so can be very distressing and difficult for children to give up after divorce and remarriage. The building up of new family traditions and forming a blended family culture takes time and cannot be rushed. For this first Christmas together it may be helpful to everyone to allow both sets of children to maintain their ‘family culture’ and have a tree each. This will show the children that you understand and respect their unique family traditions and each set of children can decorate to their own taste using their own decorations. Not only that, it will save arguments and upset.
You could go all the way and get a third tree for yourself and your new husband. This could be the start of your blended family tradition if you ask everyone to join in. It may be expensive and your house will look like a small forest but maybe 3 small tress rather than one big one will bring good tidings and joy to your new family this Christmas.